Best Friends

What makes 2 people best friends. How does one define a best friend. I think that word is just too overrated. It's just a title and it sets expectations to a point it becomes stiffling. Would one title another 'best friend' after 2 weeks? What is the minimum time frame?

As I get older I think about compatibility between friends. I think of how I will grow when I spend time with someone. I think of our values, our views on how to treat others and how to be treated.

It's not just because you've known someone for 10 years that you need to constantly be compared to how your friendship used to be. People grow up and move on and personalities change. But that term sticks like maggot to a wound. I hate being termed as Ah H's 'best friend'. I hate the association and maybe I hate it cos I don't feel the same way..that makes me feel bad.

So many things have been happening in the last couple of months. I've been shouted at, cried on, accused for no reason, given ultimatums...all from friends..what the? It's one thing to receive all that from your partner but from friends? errmmm expectations much? Seriously, just cos I want to do something that doesn't float your boat, doesn't mean I am doing it against you personally, I just want to do it! It's got nothing to do with you...Don't read into it, don't take it personally, and most of all, do not blame me. Cos I ain't gonna stand for that shit.

I think being with Q has certainly taught me to be less intense...intensity is frightening..but who am I kidding, there is obviously a reason for the lack of it. I just don't know what it is. I am happy to be going back tomorrow, to spend time with my family, to see my friends...My aim for this trip is to catch up with old friends I haven't seen for years but are still so dear to me.

One thing I want to say to the people I care about is...things may be hard at the moment, but paddle on...the seas will calm and the sun will shine and I will certainly always hold my umbrella for you..to the others who are causing grief in my life...bugger off..=p